“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is known as the Golden Rule. This phrase was said by Jesus to His disciples in the Sermon on the Mount.
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Luke 6:31 ESV
It is basic relationship advice. When you treat others with kindness, they will be kind in return. But if you yell and are angry with them, they will respond to you in the same way.
Relationships can be a source of discontentment. If you are married or in a romantic relationship, we learned that there are things to do when you are unhappy in your relationship with them.
But there are friends, co-workers, neighbors, and relatives that could be a source of discontentment as well. How do we have contentment in these relationships?
Do Unto Others: Important Things in a Relationship
But the first question to ask is how you would like to be treated? That is what Jesus was saying when He said, “and as you wish that others would do to you.”
1. Kindness
Everyone wants a friend who is kind. Who wants to hang out with a bully? No one does. In the Old Testament, the Lord told the people to love kindness.
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8 ESV
The Hebrew word for kindness, hesed, means mercy and goodness. This means that God wanted the people to not just show mercy to others but to love showing mercy to others. Kindness should be something that we automatically do for every person we meet. Or even those we interact with who aren’t kind to us.
2. Trustworthy
Friends are those that we can share secrets with and trust that they will not share them with others.
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.
Proverbs 11:13 ESV
No one wants a friend or co-worker that they can’t trust to keep their secrets. If they aren’t trustworthy, they are the last person you want to know the deepest and most sensitive things about you.
3. Truthful
We do not want to be around those who lie or bear false witness against us. They are speaking deceit. And they cannot be trusted.
Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a falses witness utters deceit.
Proverbs 12:17 ESV
The deceit is used to cover up something they have done or don’t want us to know about. If they are called out and continue to cover up the deceit, they are selfish and someone that we cannot trust.
But when we love others by being honest with them, it is something we can rejoice in. The rejoicing comes because trust builds the relationship. They are someone that you can count on.
It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:6 ESV
4. Love
Jesus asked Peter if he loved him. In the New Testament, in John 21, Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him, much like when Peter denied Jesus three times. The first time Jesus asked in verse 15, He used the word for love that is agape or God-like love. Each time, Peter replied with the word for love, phileo, which means brotherly love.
He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.”
John 21:17 ESV
Peter was hurt that Jesus asked him repeatedly as it likely reminded him of his sin of denying Christ. Jesus was kind enough to ask Peter about loving Him with brotherly love instead of agape, or God-like love.
We want friends who will love us with a love that is like a brother or sister. When they love us like that, it is something that makes it easy to reciprocate.
Do Unto Others: Do so to Them
We should do all of the same above for our friends, neighbors, co-workers, and family members.
Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit. When we have Jesus in our hearts, we will want to treat others with kindness.
As Christians, we are to put on kindness to all we meet. We are to replace our sinful ways with this characteristic, among others.
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
Colossians 3:12 ESV
In fact, we should go over and above. We should love our friends like Christ. And from one of my favorite Bible verses in Philippians, we should count them more significant than ourselves.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-4 ESV
Do Unto Others: Contentment When They Don’t Do Unto You
But what if your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or family member doesn’t want to love on you or be kind to you?
You love them and are kind to them anyway. And you keep on doing it every time you see them. Will this work? Yes, it does!
When my daughter was in junior high, girls were being mean. She asked me what she should do. I told her to be kind anyway. Because it will be like burning coals on their heads.
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
Proverbs 25:21-22 ESV
In the New Testament, Peter told the believers that when they
“are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.”
1 Peter 3:16b ESV
When your actions are kind, loving, and righteous, the people will have a hard time being mean back. It will cause them to feel ashamed.
And those junior high girls? It worked. They were nice to my daughter the next time she saw them.
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Resource Library
As usual, you can check out the Bible verses cards, and other items in the resource library. They are all for you to print, memorize, and take with you wherever you go.
