Jealousy of others is what we feel about those around us whether it is our co-workers, neighbors, friends, or even our family members. And when that jealousy is about work, it disturbs that contentment with ‘what we do.’
Remember, jealousy is ardent passion or anger. Envy is ill-will or spite for another person.
If you have been jealous of others or envious of them and wondering how to overcome those feelings, here are some tips on how to overcome jealousy of others’ success.
6 Ways for How to Overcome Jealousy of Others and Their Success
1. Overcome Jealousy of Others by Not Coveting
When a person is looking at what others have and the success they’ve had, then feelings of jealousy or envy will happen. Anytime, we look at and covet another person’s car, house, job, or clothes, we are committing a sin. This characteristic was so important that God decided it should be a commandment. The tenth commandment is:
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”
Exodus 20:17 ESV
When we choose to covet what our neighbors have, we then are really working for nothing. Solomon said this about our toiling for more is like striving after the wind.
Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.
Ecclesiastes 4:4 ESV
I saw other managers being promoted in a previous position and was envious of that. I was coveting the fact that they were upgraded to a position that I felt that I deserved more than this person. It was definitely striving after the wind on my part!
2. Choose to Be Content With Your Circumstances
Envy can even affect our health. Solomon tells us that it can make our bones rot!
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
Proverbs 14:30 ESV
Instead, we need to have a tranquil heart. In Hebrew, tranquil is marpe, which means healthy or sound of mind. Solomon wasn’t talking about having a healthy heart. In this case, he was “talking about the heart as a metaphor for our innermost being.” (David Guzik Commentary on Proverbs 14).
When we choose to be content with what we have, we are at peace with it and deep within our soul. We know that God will provide all of our needs so we don’t need to envy what others have and want more. If we need something that is within God’s will, He will make a way for us to have it.
The writer of Hebrews emphasizes being content with how God provides for us.
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.'”
Hebrews 13:5 ESV
Being content with what we have helps us to overcome that discontentment with what we do and covet what others have.
3. Be Slow to Become Angry
Anger is a character trait that we need to get a hold on right away and resolve any issues. If we do not, the anger can be revengeful and even kill you.
For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.
Proverbs 6:34 ESV
A person who is jealous of another can be passionate about a person or thing or topic. That passion can be something they can get angry about. That anger can lead to revenge. And once they are revengeful, others can get hurt – not just emotionally but also physically.
If this person doesn’t deal with the anger they have, it can consume them and actually kill them.
Surely vexation kills the fool, and jealousy slays the simple.
Job 5:2 ESV
I had a grandma whose anger and resentment turned into bitterness. She carried it with her to her grave. If she had forgiven some things in her past, she would have enjoyed her life more in her later years. I believe that the anger and jealousy that she carried for more than 50 years was what really killed her.
How to Tame our Anger
James had this to say about anger.
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20 ESV
We need to be slow about getting angry and lengthen our short fuse. Ask questions and get clarification. There may be a communication issue and answering questions may quickly resolve what you thought was an issue.
And James reminds us that anger doesn’t produce righteousness. Whenever you are angry, ask yourself a question. Is this anger promoting myself (self-righteous anger) or is it promoting God? Nine times out of ten you will find that your anger is promoting you rather than God.
4. Walk Properly Daily
Jealousy is a human action or reaction instead of acting in a godly way.
for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?
1 Corinthians 3:3 ESV
Walking in the flesh has to do with darkness. In Romans, Paul talks about walking in the light and quitting the things of the night or the darkness.
Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.
Romans 13:13 ESV
5. Goodness and Humble Wisdom
Each of us needs to be good, humble, and wise in how we live our lives. We are examples of Christ wherever we go and what we do.
Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.
James 3:13 ESV
The opposite of godly wisdom is a person who has jealousy and selfish ambition in their hearts. James said told the people to not boast or be false to the truth (vs. 14). When a person is puffed with selfish ambition, they do exactly what James tells them to not do. These people will speak loudly at a party and tell about all of their wonderful deeds. And they will even stretch the truth or lie to make the story sound even better.
James goes on to say that where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there are all kinds of evil.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
James 3:16 ESV
We need to keep our focus on doing good and the wisdom of God. And when striving, it needs to be about advancing God’s plan for you, not your own selfish ambition.
6. Fear the Lord Daily
In keeping with Paul’s theme about light and darkness, he told the Corinthians that they should not be yoked with unbelievers. He says simply, “what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV).
As believers, we need to have that reverential fear of God each day. And we need to NOT envy others, especially those who are sinners.
Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day.
Proverbs 23:17 ESV
Envying those in the dark will be like chasing the wind. It won’t get us anywhere and will cause discontent with ‘what we do.’ Instead, fear God and be thankful for what you do have. And focus on the hope that you have in Christ and living with God for all of eternity!
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