Dealing with rejection at work can be challenging. In the effects of rejection post, we found out how rejection can affect our basic needs and talked about five ways to overcome this rejection.
It could be that your rejection at work is social exclusion from a group or avoidance from a coworker. Or you didn’t receive the welcome into the department or workplace you thought you’d get. But don’t let that get you down or distract you from the work that you were called to do. You were hired to do a specific job, and there is a reason that you are there.
Let’s look at seven ways to conquer these feelings of rejection and be accepted at work.
Seven Ways to Conquer Rejection at Work
1. You were hired for a purpose
You applied for the job and got it! Good for you! There are skills that the company needed, and you had them in spades.
God had a hand in helping you get this job, and there must be a reason you are there. God will fulfill whatever purpose He has for you and ensure you get it done.
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.
Psalm 138:8 ESV
Provide your input and great ideas. Your knowledge was needed there at the company, so speak up and don’t be timid about it. Let them know your thoughts on the topic or the project at hand.
Say No to Imposter Syndrome
In one company, I promoted an individual contributor into a management role. He had supervisory experience in a role but not the specific title and responsibility of direct reports.
After a couple of weeks, I asked him how he thought it was going & what he thought of the manager meetings. He indicated that he was struggling with imposter syndrome. This ‘syndrome’ is a lie that you tell yourself that you aren’t worthy of the position.
I told him that he needed to quit telling himself the imposter lie. He had earned a seat at the table and was just as capable as anyone in the room.
The devil takes advantage of this lie that we have told ourselves. And we need to dismiss these thoughts and keep reminding ourselves that God has a purpose for us in this place. Even if we aren’t sure what it is.
2. Tread Lightly and Earn Respect
You are the new person in the department, so you don’t know everything. There are people in the department who have been there and know how to do the job. They may see you as a threat because of all your knowledge or specific experience.
Listen to what they are saying and try to do things their way. When it doesn’t work as expected, or you see an opportunity to improve it, put your observation as a question and then show them.
“Have you thought about doing it this way?” Or you could say, “What if we did it this way?” This comes off much better than saying it in an accusatory way of telling them they are doing it wrong. It allows them to think about the option you are presenting to them instead of being on the defensive right away.
When they see that you have a new way of doing something that works, they will respect that you have ideas to offer to help make work better. When we show honor and respect to others, they will do the same for us.
Respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.
Romans 13:7 ESV
3. Learn from Others
In addition to learning from those who have been there for some time, there could be traits or blind spots about yourself that you can learn during this time.
If someone calls you out and you feel rejected, think about what you heard. We can learn things from others and improve our actions and who we are. These nuggets of wisdom will ultimately help improve our lives and make them better.
Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.
Proverbs 10:17 ESV
4. Ask Questions when handling Rejection from a Coworker
Could there be something you can learn from a coworker who is rejecting you? Maybe you said something that offended them. Could it be a miscommunication? Or possibly they are upset about something else.
I remember one conversation with a coworker where she seemed to be offended. It was something I said or did, and I couldn’t figure it out. So I asked her. She replied that my perfume was too strong and it affected her allergies.
Is that all it was? Immediately, I apologized and said that I would not wear that perfume again to work. I have allergies too, and some perfumes are so strong I can get a headache. When I returned to work without that perfume on, she was much happier. By asking a question and complying with her request, we built the foundation for a better working relationship.
5. Seek Out Friends
Are you feeling social rejection at work? Or left out of the group? If the team is hanging out after work and you want to tag along, ask someone if you can go with them. It is possible they thought you wouldn’t be interested.
If their activity isn’t something you want to be a part of, it is okay to seek out friendships at work outside the department. Making friends in another department can broaden your learning about the company and could lead you to have some longtime friends.
When I started working at a company, I didn’t fit in with the group in our department. The one older gentleman and I got along well. The other two ladies were polite but gossiped about people in the other areas. I kept to myself but had begun to chat with one of the admin assistants and two of her friends that worked in the mailroom. I heard them talking about going on walks in the park during lunch. After a while, I asked if I could join them. They were more than accommodating and wanted me to join them on future lunches after that.
Friends for a Lifetime
Even though two friends from the group eventually left the company, one remained at work before I left. He and I have remained friends for over 24 years. When you reach out to others, you never know that you may gain a lifelong friend. He and I have been through difficult changes in our lives. But we have encouraged each other through the years, and he has become like a younger brother to me.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17 ESV
6. When to Consult Others for Assistance in dealing with Social Rejection at Work
There are times when social rejection at work will need assistance from others. That assistance could be your manager, Human Resources, an integrity line, or an employee assistance program to talk it through.
If you are being harassed, put down, or assaulted, it is time to speak up. No one deserves this treatment, nor should they put up with it at work.
7. Maintain a Good Attitude & Focus on God
Even though your work situation may not be ideal now, give it some time. Keep your thoughts positive. Paul said it well:
Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8 ESV
Focus on doing your job well and do it for God. Not for the praise of others. God is the one we serve, and we want to do well and honor Him.
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.
Colossians 3:23 ESV
God will honor you for your hard work. And He will provide for you – even kind people at work to hang out with and enjoy.
Summary: Rejection at Work
Keep these seven steps in mind as your work. When you do, you will overcome the feelings of rejection and have a better work environment overall.
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